Monday, November 24, 2008

Shadow Dancing and other silly things

As promised: the story of me shadow dancing-

One day I was walking back to the hospital (where I work) from the dr's office. I looked down, and I was really rather shocked that my shadow had lost weight!!! WOW! That's pretty cool I thought. So I was getting ready to do some poses and turning and checking out my shadow, but then realized that my co-workers in the lab would probably be looking out the window just then and catch me!!

So low and behold- not only was I losing weight but my shadow was looking pretty good! It might seem like a simple little thing- but it was one of the first moments I realized that my body was changing. That I was having success losing weight FINALLY!

Shadow dancing is not the only thing I did. I would be shopping and catch my reflection in the freezer aisle doors. I would have to stop and look- I couldn't believe it was me so I had to make sure: Almost to the point of standing there and seeing if the reflection really mimics the actions that I do!! INCREDIBLE! It was me in the reflection!!

One day I was walking into the hospital from the parking lot and noticed that my shadow had changed a little more! There was day light between its legs!!! When did that happen!! My shadow is usually just one big black blob! And now it has legs and A NECK! hmmmmm I seriously have to find time to dance with my shadow where no one is watching me make a fool of myself!

I never thought of myself as good looking let alone attractive or sexy. But I have to tell you that I catch myself looking in the mirror.... I am embarrassed by that- I try not to get caught! I spent years avoiding a mirror- even before the weight- and now, I take time to look. I am not appalled at what I see. I am fairly good looking! I am not trying to be or sound vain, I don't think that I am vain. I just like myself! I like the changes the band has helped create in me! Not just physically but mentally as well.

This whole process has been challenging, fun, rewarding, and down right scary sometimes. I have lived outside my comfort zone so many times that I don't even know what my comfort zone is anymore!! You know what- living outside that comfort zone is amazing! It is liberating. It creates a feeling of "I can do anything" I am stronger for that. I can let my light shine easier because of it! I am comfortable just being me. I don't need someone else's approval or acceptance. If someone doesn't care for me- they are missing out! I am a terrific person who cares about others. If you don't accept me- you may miss out on just how great of a person I can be. I am sorry for you! Me- I will be ok. I don't have to have everyone like me. I like me and that is enough right now. I haven't liked me in so long and that was wrong. I have always been a terrific person who cares about others.

Love yourself- no matter what. Learn to be yourself. Trust me- I know how hard that can be, but give it a try!

Until I blog again....

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