Monday, November 23, 2009

Goal

My new goal is to be to my goal weight by May 28th. That is six months away. If someone can figure out my health problems soon and get me feeling better, I might have a chance to meet that goal.

I really don't have a true weight I want to be. I have an idea of where I want to be. My biggest goal is to be able to go to any doctor office and not have the dr tell me I am overweight. I want to be below the radar on the overweight category!!!

I want to feel good and look good. So I have a weight range I want to get to. Then I will decide where I want to stay. So- to get to this range I need to lose 35-45 pounds. Unless I keep living off of popcorn and ice cream... blah!

I want to shrink out of EVERYTHING I own right now and go clothes shopping!!!! I would like to wear single digit pants... but I will be just fine if I stay in 10's. My biggest size goal is to get rid of the stupid muffin top. I look like those big giant muffins from Maverick- not a little muffin top... HA

So any support and encouraging words I can get would be great and appreciated!

until I blog again.....

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Halloween

I went as my former self for Halloween. Didn't win any costume contests but it was fun to do. The administrator said no one could appreciate the costume as much as he did. It was strange to be "big" again. I have no idea how I tied my shoes all those years. I tried walking between a desk and wall in the front office and had to really work to get my booty through there. By the end of the day I was so hot- so I shed my extra weight. Couldn't do that when I was truly big. It was an interesting experience. I am so thankful for my band. I do not know how I lived so long being overweight. I don't know what I would do if I ever had to have it removed for medical issues. I would cry and cry and cry. I see band removal as a death sentence. Not that I would just go eat all kinds of junk and such- but the band gives me the ability to feel full! I don't have that with the band being opened or not there. I need that feeling of being full. It is what keeps me from gaining weight, from over eating. Not having the band in place= death sentence. simple as that. I would do my best- I would exercise and everything but no band=death sentence. Nothing scarier in this world to me than the idea of taking my band out.

until I blog again.....

GOALS MET

So - In Orlando I met my goals.
1. eat out at a restaurant alone
2. go to a movie in a movie theater alone
3. go swimming alone

On top of that I ate new foods
1. tuna
2. grouper
3. japanese beef wraps with sea weed

Also- walked up to others and introduced myself and asked to sit with them. Had a Dr befriend me and enjoyed all the people I met on this trip. It was such a neat experience. I stepped out of my comfort zone many times. I met the goals I set for myself and did many other new things as well. The weather was beautiful, the education was wonderful, the experience exhilarating, and I am very pleased with the trip and myself.

until I blog again.....

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Wed. in Orlando

Well, Wed was the last full day in Orlando. I got up and went to the summit. I sat with Heather again for breakfast. Then I found Jackie and told her it was nice to meet her. We had a session this day that was split up by job titles basically. It was a good session. Afterwards I went back to my hotel, got changed, and took pictures of the hotel. It really was a fun hotel as far as the decorating outside! Then I went to Epcot.

I walked around and got an idea of the things there. I got my picture taken with chip and dale. Then went and rode the clam shell and watched a short version of Finding Nemo. It was fun. I got the experience of announcing it was just me when they asked how many in my group or family. It's ok. I enjoyed watching some of the reactions.

I went to the area where there were buildings for different countries. I looked in a few of them. I found the Japanese area. I was excited. But then I learned they weren't totally what I was looking for. I thought it would me museum style things to look at. Each area offered a couple of restaurants serving ethnic food and a gift shop where you can buy things from the country.

I bought some Japanese candy for the kids, a set of nice chopsticks for myself, and tea cups for me and Ty with our names on it written in Japanese. Then I went and bought beef wraps from the Japanese kiosk. They were yummy! I went and sat in the concert area and watched Billy Ocean perform. It was hilarious. He walked out on the stage, and everyone started whispering that it wasn't really him. He had gray hair.... I giggled thinking that I am sure everyone that was whispering had aged in the 20 years since he was around so why wouldn't Billy Ocean himself age? Once he started singing everyone knew it was him and enjoyed it.

I went and stood in line to get my picture taken with the Disney characters. I stood among moms and dads with their kids and a couple of young couples enjoying life. I got my picture taken with each one of the characters that were in line. I had a great time!!! Probably one of my favorite moments! HA Then I went on a couple of other things, watched the dancing waters, and went to downtown Disney. Walked into a few stores I didn't go to the other times I was there. Got a treat and went back to my hotel.

My shuttle bus for the airport was picking me up at 4:15AM!!! ugh. So I packed my bag, made sure I was ready to go, and took a nap. I was exhausted, but happy, relaxed, and proud of myself. It was a good few days.

until I blog again....

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Tues Night in Orlando!

The summit was great! I learned so much while I was in class. I learned a lot about the band, fills, other illnesses, support groups, etc. It was a wealth of information!!! Some of the information is leading to the discovery of some of my problems! So that is great!!!

I invited myself to sit with a lady named Heather the first morning for breakfast. And then with Jackie at lunch. They were nice ladies. I was proud of myself for not hiding in a corner alone. I did a lot with my time away! lots of new things for me!!

I even answered a question during class!! They wanted to know our opinion of future lapbands and what we would want to see from them. Some of the ideas talked about was a self adjusting band- one that would adjust as your body changes, hormonal swelling, tight in the morning, etc. The other big idea was to make it so patients can adjust their own band. SO I raised my hand and voiced my opinion. Told them my name and hospital. Told them my role in the clinic but told them I also come as a lapband patient. I said that as a band patient I would love to see a self adjusting band. I am typically tight in the morning and suffer from the hormonal swelling so a band that adjusts to my body is a great idea. And then I said how I would never agree to a band that the patients adjust themselves. I said that would lead into anorexia issues as well as the other direction... too much opening it for parties and that allows for cheating the band. I do not believe that a patient doing their own adjustments is something that should ever happen. It was after my comment that they actually asked how many people there were patients. There was 8 of us. Another lady spoke and said she was a coordinator and is now a consultant... I can't remember what she said but I knew I wanted to ask her the difference in a coordinator and consultant but when I tried to head over to her at the end a nice gentleman came up to me and introduced himself. Kevin. He has lost 100 pounds with the band. looks amazing. I got to see his before pic. We talked for a bit. He was very nice.

Tuesday night was a reception, dinner, dancing, dessert, mickey and minnie, fireworks. It was a neat experience. I wasn't sure I would like doing this alone but I wasn't going to back down. Classes went late so I didn't go back to the hotel, I just walked around and waited until it was time for the party. I walked up to someone and asked if I could sit at their table (there weren't many people there yet). I am getting better at this!! A dr walked up and started talking to us. She knew the lady I had talked to but not me. We walked away together to get food and drinks. I came back and the table I was going to sit at seemed full so I sat at a small table alone. The dr came back and asked if she could sit with me! I said "sure" she was a presenter at the summit so I felt good to have her want to join me. Then another presenter came up and talked to us. She invited the dr to join her at her table and the dr looked at me and said "should we join them" WOW. She is a neat lady! So I sat at a table with presenters and drs. I introduced myself and a lady named Marsha was sitting next to me and when she heard my name she said "you are SHERRI?! I was suppose to talk to you. Heather said I needed to talk to you about support groups" I was shocked. We had a nice talk. It was a great night!!! Mickey and Minnie came and I got my pic with Mickey- Kevin saw and asked it it would be on my blog! I told him it sure would be!! He said his would be too! I waited for the fireworks and finally they went off. like four rounds. then nothing. so we all gave up and headed to our rooms/buses/ etc....

It was still pretty early... it was extra chilly and windy though. On the trip back to my hotel I was thinking about the rest of my time there. I decided if I was to make my swimming pool goal tonight would have to be the night. So I got back to the hotel- walked past one swimming pool and no one was there. I went and changed to my swimsuit and by the time I got done on the phone and out the door it was 1130! It was way chilly!! I went to the closest pool and stepped in..... All I could think was- is this goal really worth it? If I just step in and go again did I accomplish it? Then a voice said "it will warm up once you are in just go for it" It was a sweet girl from Russia. I did as she said. Then she and I walked/swam up and down the pool for half an hour talking. It was very nice. She married an American and has a child. They were there on vacation. She talked of her home in Russia and some of the ways there. Then we got cold and said good night. SO goal number 3 accomplished and was a pleasant time despite the cold.

Oh and I tried tuna- not like in the can... but tuna!! It was good! It was an eventful day! And I am feeling good about myself, my progress, my goals, my accomplishments!!!

until I blog again....

Friday, November 13, 2009

The rest of the night

After I had my dinner, I walked around Downtown Disney. It was fun. All the shops, the scenery. I loved the lego shop. It was too fun! All the lego options. I am going back one day and buying lots of legos for my future grandchildren.

Anyway- it was time for me to go for goal number 2. A movie. I couldn't decide what movie to see. There were a few that I wanted to wait until I could go see them with my son. And there was two others that I was debating from. It came down to Couple's Retreat. I got my ticket, my popcorn, a drink, and I was off to the movie. I sat in the last row (typical of where Ty and I sit) then I wondered if I should sit somewhere different. But then three other couples came and sat in the back row as well. It was a great movie. I love when the crowd laughs and gets involved in the story. I laughed out loud. Not hiding the fact I was there or the fact that I was alone. It was great. I felt good about meeting two goals in the same night.

Ok - so why the goals? Perhaps some of you are wondering that... well, as an overweight person these are things I would never have done alone. I always imagined people staring, people laughing, people thinking "look at that fat girl- can't get a date" or "look at that fat girl- look at what she is eating no wonder no one wants to go out with her" probably in some cases there are those people who would think that but mostly it was probably just my insecurities and fears. My low self-esteem.

It was so important to me to meet these goals. I wanted to ride a ride in Denver alone and never did it. So I couldn't fail at another goal. I am so happy that I met these goals. It was a great night. I enjoyed the time alone, watching the people around me, learning about myself- facing some fears. I was pretty tired by the end of the day though! =) I was proud of myself.

So down to goal number 3- the swimming pool...

until I blog again....

Thursday, November 12, 2009

quick note

I am not feeling well. Life has been a little ugly for me. I am tired and worn out right now. BUT I wanted to let everyone know I was still here.

I went to Orlando Florida for a gastric band summit!! It was the best thing I could have done! It was awesome. I went alone- no one else from the clinic went and neither did my hubby. It was me. I had three main goals with my bit of free time... to go to a movie alone, out to eat alone, and go to the swimming pool alone. I DID THEM ALL!!! My waiter at the restaurant probably thought I was nuts. Let me touch on this topic tonight, and I will work on the rest of my trip this weekend.

The first night I had free time, I was going to go to the hotel and change my clothes then go to Down Town Disney. I had already looked at the options there and decided that the Rainforest Cafe would be a nice entertaining place to eat. I was waiting for my shuttle bus and the next bus I saw was for DownTown Disney- so I decided I would just go straight there. SO I DID. Checked out a few shops then went to the cafe. They ask at the first stop how many in your party... one I quietly said. Then you get in line and wait to be seated. So then they call your name and confirm how many are in your party. I clearly said ONE. The guy takes me to my seat. Bless his heart. He was almost apologetic when he took me to a table and asked "is this ok for you tonight" sounding all sad for me. I kind of giggled. Next a lady walked by and asked if i was alone or something to that affect. I said yes. and she took the extra set of silverware. She LEFT the extra napkin but she took the silverware. I thought that was the sad pathetic move done in a movie to make the viewers sympathetic to the character. sigh. SO my waiter comes, and I ask for a children's menu! too funny. and then proceed to order from it! It was tasty, but I couldn't eat it all. At one point I asked the waiter to please take my picture. I told him he needed to show the other chair to prove I was eating alone. He kind of chuckled. I told him it was a long story and laughed. So that was my first night alone.

I walked around DownTown Disney. My favorite place was the lego shop!!! AWESOME!!! Will share more of this night later. thanks to my waiter for taking my pic and laughing along with me and not at me.

until I blog again....