Well, Friday a co-worker and I went to another hospital to learn more about the program that they put their patients through for the lapband. We got to town about an hour early so we went to Wal-mart. The pants I had on were a size 14 and were quite baggy. I haven't bought much in the way of new- I have been buying from the DI or thrift store. I was in desperate need of a different style pants though due to my shape and the way my stomach feels after the tummy tuck. I tried on a 12 and they were baggy too. I tried on a 10 and they were baggy! I tried on an 8!!! They were great. I of course had to try the size 6!! They fit too but my legs needed a bit more room.... SO I BOUGHT A SIZE 8!!!!! WOW!!! The largest size I wore was a 26/28, and I know there were days when they were tight! The day of my surgery though I was wearing a size 22.
In preparing this new clinic, we have been talking about pics for a billboard. We want something different than the traditional hold up the before pants. I had been thinking of that picture though and truly wondered if there was a drastic difference between me and my fat pants. I took them out of the closet yesterday- THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE!! It seriously shocked me! I sometimes don't feel or see myself as that different. A couple of my teenage boys were around and saw me do this... they shook their heads in disbelief. My husband couldn't believe it either.
There are days that I seriously don't feel different. If I am sitting, and I look down and can see my little spare tire I feel like I am still the huge person I used to be. I feel as though I have made it nowhere! Isn't that silly!? That is why I am so glad I kept some of the big clothes. I put them on if I am feeling like that. It reminds me just how far I truly have come.
I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am to have bought a size 8 pair of pants. It is amazing! I have come so far! This excitement for myself is something I can't wait to see others experience! To help others on their journey, to see their accomplishments, their excitement as they notice their shadow change or realize that they don't recognize themselves in the reflection they see in the freezer section.... to hear them excitedly tell me they just bought a size 18, 14, 8 - whatever size they never thought they would see! Or like me- a size they don't ever remember seeing! I know I had to have seen a size 8 once- but I don't remember it!
Until I blog again....
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