thinking....

So I have been thinking a lot about not having made it to my goal, and then last night I was asked why people don't make it to their goal. I have many thoughts on this but for me I think it is because I am no longer consumed with my weight and food.

Before it was wake up think about food- think about how fat I am - wonder if anything will fit me. Wonder if people will notice me worry that people will, worry that people won't. Worry if I will embarrass my kids....

Now it is- what is on my to do list today? make breakfast for Christopher, lay out his clothes, get to work, do paper work, take care of this and that, oh- have a protein bar for breakfast, work, etc. Food and my weight is not my worry, my concern, my all powering thoughts....

I am not to my goal as far as weight, people probably see me and wonder if I will ever make it to my goal, but the day I decided that this surgery was for me, my goal was to get rid of diabetes, high blood pressure, and to be able to take care of Christopher when he is an adult and not have to put him in a home because I was too fat to take care of him...

diabetes- GONE
high blood pressure - GONE
ability to take care of my own child- IMPROVED!!!
need for a home for him- GONE
(now if he was just a bit shorter! and cooperative sometimes- I would have it made!)



So my goals are met. the goal weight, the skinnier body- icing on the cake HA and we all know I don't always need the icing! HAHAA!


Until I blog again.....

training

Well, I am so excited. I went over to Soda to walk part of the course for the half marathon, and I took Christopher with me. We walked (ok I walked- he rode) 7.6 miles! I was hoping to get back to my starting point in 2.5 hours I did it in 2 hours 15 minutes! I was really pleased! There are a couple of rough hills but I made it. They make me a little nervous but hopefully the new chair for Christopher will make it easier. We'll see- if the chair EVER gets here to begin with!!

His chair was pulling to the left a tiny bit so I was pushing extra hard on the left and pulling back on the right. But we made it!! I think Thursday I am going to pick Christopher up from school and take him and walk all but the Kelly Park back trails.

We have tshirts being made for us! Christopher's Crew.... We are all excited to be doing this. We want to get the message out that alcohol and pregnancy doesn't mix!!! It is sad to think he has the issues he has and struggles as he does because of something his birth mom decided to do- his life could have been totally different had she not touched a drop..... but perhaps that would have meant we never got to meet him or be his parents or get to know the precious sweet spirit he is.

So Christopher's crew is ready to roll.... Oct 9th. Want to hear his story- check out thesodascreamer.blogspot.com

I weigh today- hope I show a weight loss. I have been stuck on the same weight despite my half efforts - I will be honest. exercise- not a regular event for me and proper food choices still escape me but I am doing better in both areas.


until I blog again.....

Walking

Yesterday I walked home after work. It took me an hour and a half. I was so tickled with that time!! probably around 5.5 or more miles. Need to get it done even faster but I was pleased with that time. Really pleased.

Now if I can get some of my food choices under control I would be even happier. I do feel that I am smaller in size. My rings are loose, my clothes are loose, and for the first time in a long time it hurt my knees to lie on my side... (the knee bones touching with no fat pad is painful!) So I am happy for all that.

I am not eating shakes with peanut butter cups on a regular basis like I was prior to the band being emptied. I am not eating junk all the time. I am not losing weight very fast but that's ok too. I will be thankful for a pound a week opposed to staying the same all the time.

I am debating about walking home today or just going home and relaxing and spending time with the family. If I do that I think I will for sure walk to work tomorrow. I have to come in for about an hour. We'll see. I have a couple of hours before I need to decide....

Until I blog again.....

training!

Well, I have been working on walking to prepare for the half marathon in October. I walked 9.6 miles almost 4 weeks ago, and then the next day I walked 6 miles to the next town to attend a zumba exercise class (LOVE the zumba). Then the next Monday I walked 13.4 miles!! I got 13.1 miles finished in the 4 hour time frame the Soda Screamer has. Then walked to town the next day for zumba again.

This past saturday I walked part of the Soda Screamer to decide if I can take my son on part of it. So walked about 4 miles I think- maybe more. I decided that I better not take him on the first 3 mile section because it is in an area that would be hard to get to him or get him out of there if he has a seizure or something. So I will hurry through those first miles to make up time and pick him up from Ty when I get out of there.

I have been emailing with the person in charge and told her that is what I had decided I needed to do and that I was working on the registration money but we would be there. I got an email today saying they wanted to donate his registration and also wanted to share our story with their newspaper. I was so touched. I just cried.

I told her also that I could WALK the half marathon in exactly 4 miles but once I add my son it will slow me down. So I need to get working! I just got a new membership to the gym so will work out after work more often and going to work on my power walking! I am so excited. Hope I can finish in the 4 hours.... the information says they will begin clean up after 4 hours. I can do this... I can I can I can......

until I blog again.......