Frustrating times

Well, Let's give a quick run down of my past month. When all was said and done from my hospital trip in January- the dr decided I needed a colonoscopy! OK not my idea of a good time! I am only 35 and shouldn't be needing one of those!! I had to go out of town for it though. So Feb 9th was the big day! I did that wonderful prep that goes along with the scope. The scope itself wasn't bad. I slept through it all. The last thing I remember was the dr turning on the radio, and me thinking that was nice and pretty cool that some drs actually do that! Right now while I am thinking about it- I don't remember leaving the place!!

I remember Ty telling me that they didn't find anything wrong and me crying. We came back to town and straight to the hospital. I knew that the dr that ordered it (my surgeon) would be there. I also knew he was considering exploratory surgery if the results of the scope showed nothing. So I told him. He said let's do surgery friday. OK. Meanwhile- the scope set off a whole new world of pain for me. I had a pain shot Monday afternoon and Tuesday evening. I was suffering Wed. and Thursday! Friday the 13th came and I had surgery! The people I work with were so fun! It was also my birthday so they left me a teddy bear, coloring book, crayons, and story book on my bed before I got there. After the surgery (in the recovery room) they painted my toenails, tattoed me in two spots, and wrote happy birthday plus drew a cupcake with a candle in it on my bandage!! They wrote it so I could read it when I looked down! The dr told me I was going to spend the better part of a week in the hospital. I told him no way. I was home Sunday afternoon! Two days later! Anyway -they found my ovaries connected to my intestines with the right one being larger than the left one and had cysts on it. The dr also took my appendix out. I felt really good! All my pain was gone! I was so happy! The incision hasn't bothered me at all! I was up and moving a couple hours after I woke up.

Saturday EARLY Saturday Feb 21st I woke up and had some pain. I took a lortab and it let me rest for a bit. At 7am I was in more pain. I had to get up to use the bathroom and that was it. I knew I better go to the hospital. I called my mom (we all run to our mommies don't we), and I was trying to sound cheerful but then she asked me how I was, and I lost it. I started crying. I was in worse pain than when I went to the ER in January! I was so mad because that surgery was suppose to have solved the problem. I felt stupid because I figured it was horrible constipation. Although things seemed to be moving along just fine the day before. I am tired of being in the hospital, IV's which take 3-4 sticks to get going, being in pain, being a wimp about the pain, and I hurt!!!! OH MAN DID I HURT!!! I just cried and cried. But it hurt so badly to cry too! I couldn't take a deep breath in. The ride to town was painful. My husband found EVERY bump from our house to the hospital and hit them!!! I couldn't sit down or lie down.

So blood tests showed I might be fighting an infection and that I was full of stool (sorry!) The medical emergency surgery comes on with 10 inches in the bowel and I had 7.5 - I would glad have let them open me up and cut out the stool and that part of the intestines!!! The pain was unbearable! The dr offered to let me go home last night if I felt up to it with knowing if it got worse I would need to come back. I pointed out to him that it takes 3-4 tries to get the IV going so we decided I would stay the night. I came home this monring. My white count was back down this morning though so that is good! I had a bit of a fever last night to so I was worried.

The surgery last week was needed though- I don't think anything else. I believe that was important to have done. They found some problems, and I believe that they are problems that contributed to some of the pain I had this last month (especially after the scope!!!) and problems that would have created worse issues in the future. I am not sorry I had the surgery. I am upset that it wasn't the whole problem. Now I have to make sure I don't get into this situation again. I am not sure I would live through another one of those!!

I am so frustrated. I have worked so hard to get off the medicines and fix the health issues the weight brought on and now I have a whole new set of problems. I have been wondering if it was a good trade. I know they aren't related. I know that is just how things are.... but I am still frustrated! UGH I hate feeling frustrated and not looking on the bright side of things. but this has been a rough month for me. I NEVER take pain pills unless it is horrible, this last month I have been so lost- either the high level of pain or the pain meds has really kept me out of it. II came home from the hospital this morning with 4 different kinds of pills! none of them long term but I hate having to take any of them!!!

On the good side of life- the clinic is doing great, and we are on track to do our first surgeris on March 13 (one of them being me for my port revision- which means ANOTHER IV!!) but this will be worth it! The bands, port, and fill kits have been ordered!!! We are kind of to the point of no return! I am so excited about that all! I can't wait! This is such a wonderful surgery! A way to help someone! I am so blessed to be a part of it!

Until I blog again.....